Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Sex or Love: What Happens When We Get the Two Confused

When I was 15, filled with hormones, I was lucky enough to go on a 3-week, 19-country whirlwind tour of Europe with 24 high school girls and 11 other high school boys. Our eyes burned from the excess pheromones as natural adolescent attraction filled the bus, plane, train -- whatever the mode of transportation.

The oldest girl on the trip was having a little "thing" with the French tour guide. We didn't know if it was sex, but we knew they were always together and she got very special attention. We imagined all kinds of things. But all we talked about was sex.

I was very naïve. All I knew about sex was what I'd gleaned from stolen glances at my uncle's Playboy, and the stories (or lies) told by my other friends.

Sex seemed to be really important. "If you really loved me, then you'd . . . " That seemed to be boys' favorite lines with girls. "If you really loved me . . ." And the pressure was on. Sex became inextricably entwined with love in my 15 year-old mind.

Sex is great, but it ain't love. Man, did it take me a long time to figure that out, even when it was clearly demonstrated in front of me on the that trip.

While in Frankfurt, Germany, we had some free time. A few of us guys found the red light district immediately. We walked and gawked at the women sitting in the storefront windows selling sex. Our eyes couldn't take it all in. What a concept: Sex for sale in the open on the street like a pair of shoes. As we walked by a sex mall (of sorts) called Crazy Sexy, I watched a young woman dressed provocatively get out of a car, lean in, kiss the man driving and the kids in the back seat. She walked into Crazy Sexy. So did we.

It was one of the strangest moments in my life.

Crazy Sexy was a large room, kind of like a warehouse, with women sitting on stools near pillars, on display. There in the middle of the room sat the woman I'd seen earlier in the street. It was more than my little 15 year-old mind could handle. Is sex love or is sex business? How can she do that? Judgments flew.

Where I came from sex was verbotten. It was something to be shared with someone special. But then again, if the opportunity arose. . . It was so confusing.

As I get older, I'm learning that love isn't so complicated. It's constant unlike those feelings I associated with sex that were so manic. Love is spending time with your chosen mate, listening, supporting, enjoying, sharing. It's understanding the priority in life -- love of spirit, love of spouse, love of family.

And there's such peace that comes with love.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Perdew

Sex, Love, and Poly-Behavioral Addiction

Proposing a New Diagnosis and Theory for Patients with Multiple Addictions
By James Slobodzien, Psy.D., CSAC

Experts in the field of addictions are presently purporting that between 3 and 6 percent of the world’s population (193 to 386 million people) are presently affected by a sexual dependency or compulsivity (Carnes, 2005). Sexual dependency is a diagnosable and treatable disease, which today is generally, regarded in about the same way that alcoholism and drug addiction (chemical dependency) was regarded 40 years ago. Even so, there still exists a wide range of understandable misunderstandings about compulsive sexual acting out, created out of ignorance about the nature of sexual addiction, and supported and perpetuated by the multibillion dollar pornography industry.

Sexual Dependency - is a global term that covers a wide range of maladaptive and self-defeating behavior patterns and relationships such as:

1. Love Addiction – a disorder in which individuals repeatedly become involved in enmeshed, intense, codependent relationships, even when those relationships or partners are destructive;

2. Romance Addiction - a disorder in which individuals become obsessed with the intrigue and the pursuit of romance and thrive on the thrill of the chase, but find it impossible to sustain a committed, intimate relationship with another person;

3. Sexual Anorexia – a disorder in which individuals become dominated and obsessed with the emotional, physical, and mental task of avoiding sex; and

4. Sex Addiction – a disorder in which individuals become obsessed with sexually-related, compulsive self-defeating maladaptive behavior.

But can one really be addicted to love as the popular 80’s song proclaims? In a recent research study, (Aron, A. 2005) published in the June issue of the Journal of Neurophysiology, researchers used functional MRI to watch the real-time brain activity of 17 college students (10 women, seven men), all of whom were in the early weeks or months of new love. These researchers concluded that, love may vie for the same real estate in the brain as drug addiction. “Early love, rooted as it is in the caudate nucleus, is all about addiction.” "It is a drug addiction." "It's certainly got some of the main characteristics of drug addiction -- as with drugs, once you fall in love you need that person more and more, so much so that, after a while, you have to marry them. There are other things, too -- real dependence, personality changes, withdrawal symptoms." “And just like the need for cocaine or heroin, love can make people do crazy, sometimes dangerous things.” According to Aron (2005), the findings help explain instances where people fall in love with people they aren’t even sexually attracted to; or why others can feel equally strong, sudden emotion for a newborn child or even God.

So does this mean that all people who are newly in love have an addiction? Are all men who look at pornography addicted? Are all women who read romance novels addicted? Are all people who avoid sex considered sexual anorexics? No, no, no, and no. Then how can we differentiate between addiction and healthy relationships? Like other forms of addictive diseases and lifestyle disorders such as chemical dependency, pathological gambling, eating disorders, and religious addiction -

Sexual dependency is characterized by an addictive cycle of:

1. Obsession or preoccupation;

2. Ritualization;

3. Compulsive behaviors;

4. Loss of control and despair; and

5. Shame and guilt that perpetuates a maladaptive belief system of impaired thinking and unmanageability.

Typically, sexual addictive patterns are considered pathological problems when issues concerning sexual behaviors become the focus of life, causing feelings of shame, guilt, and embarrassment with related symptoms of depression and anxiety that cause significant maladaptive social and/ or occupational impairment in functioning. Addicts don’t use sex for affection or recreation, but for the management of anxiety and/ or emotional pain.

We must consider that some people develop dependencies on certain life-functioning activities such as sex that can be just as life threatening as drug addiction and just as socially and psychologically damaging as alcoholism.

Sexual addiction takes many forms with various levels of severity to include:

1. Controversial behaviors (obsessions with pornography, and sex with strangers to engaging in cyber-sex);

2. Unacceptable behaviors (exhibitionism, voyeurism, indecent phone calls); and

3. Profound Sex offender behaviors (rape, incest, and child molestation).

Though solitary forms of this addiction may not be overtly risky, they can be part of a pattern of distorted thinking and identity conflict that can escalate to involve harming the self and others. An example of a Sexual Disorder (NOS) or Not Otherwise Specified in the DSM-IV-TR, (2000) includes: distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by an individual only as things to be used. (It should be noted that the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has never used the word “addiction” to describe any of its disorders).
The defining elements of this kind of addiction are its secrecy and escalating nature, often resulting in diminished judgment and self-control (Carnes, 1994).

Brief History of Sex Addiction

In 1976, a suburban hospital administrator asked Dr. Patrick Carnes to start an experimental program for chemically dependent families. The theoretical constructs of the program originated in general systems theory, especially as it applied to families and the 12-steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. One of the many factors which stood out from a family perspective was that the addictive compulsivity had many forms other than alcohol and drug abuse including overeating, gambling, shoplifting, and sexuality. Members of groups like Overeaters Anonymous and Gamblers Anonymous had already pioneered in applying the 12-steps to other addictions so the Family Renewal Center extended its programming based on the 12-steps, to sexual addiction.

In 1983, Dr. Patrick Carnes formally introduced the concept of sexual addiction to the world in a text entitled “Out of the Shadows.” Since then the field of sexual addiction and compulsive sexual behavior has developed dramatically. Terms such as addiction, compulsivity, hyper-sexuality, and “Don Juanism,” all have been used to describe what generically could be called "out of control sexual behavior." Regardless of its name, clinicians from all fields agree that a syndrome exists in which individuals have a sense that they have lost control over their sexual behavior.

According to the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH), sexual addiction is a persistent and escalating pattern or patterns of sexual behaviors acted out despite increasingly negative consequences to self or others. The fundamental nature of all addiction is the addicts' experience of helplessness and powerlessness over an obsessive-compulsive behavior, resulting in their lives becoming unmanageable. The addict may be out of control. They may experience extreme emotional pain and shame. They may repeatedly fail to control their behavior. They may suffer one or more of the following consequences of an unmanageable lifestyle: a deterioration of some or all supportive relationships; difficulties with work, financial troubles; and physical, mental, and/ or emotional exhaustion which sometimes leads to psychiatric problems and hospitalization. Addictions tend to arise from the same backgrounds: families with co-dependency including multiple addictions; lack of effective parenting; and other forms of physical, emotional and sexual trauma in childhood.

The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH, 2005) report that the symptoms of sexual compulsivity often accompany other addictive behaviors:

Alcohol and Drug Addiction – Alcohol and drugs alter libido, enhancing it early in drug addiction and inhibiting it later. There is a pattern in cocaine addiction of selling sexual favors for cocaine. As the cost of drug addiction increases, the drug addict usually can't afford the drug from ordinary job income, and must resort to (either/or) stealing, drug dealing or prostitution to support their habit. Alcohol and many drugs cause blackouts or amnesia during the drug using experience, and if sex is coupled with that drug using experience then the details of the sexual experience may not be remembered.

Food Addiction - Sexual anorexia or pathological self-denial of healthy sex is a frequent accompaniment of overeating and anorexia nervosa.

Pathological Gambling - The lifestyle of the gambler often includes hyper-sexuality, where both compulsions feed the false sense of self-esteem of the addict.

Religious Addiction - Compulsive religiosity sometimes accompanies sexual addiction as the sex addict is seeking religion to lessen guilt and shame. The beginnings of compulsive religiosity may signal the onset of a period of sexual anorexia.

Multiple Addictions

Since it is impossible to expect treatment for one addiction to be beneficial when other addictions co-exist, the initial therapeutic intervention for any addiction needs to include an assessment for other addictions. National surveys revealed that a very high correlation exists between sexual addiction and other substance abuse and behavioral addictions. Sexual addicts who have reported experiencing multiple addictions include sexual addiction and:

* Chemical dependency (42%)

* Eating disorder (38%)

* Compulsive working (28%)

* Compulsive spending (26%)

* Compulsive gambling (5%)

* Poor Prognosis

We have come to realize today more than any other time in history that the treatment of lifestyle diseases and addictions are often a difficult and frustrating task for all concerned. Repeated failures abound with all of the addictions, even with utilizing the most effective treatment strategies. But why do 47% of patients treated in private addiction treatment programs (for example) relapse within the first year following treatment (Gorski, T., 2001)? Have addiction specialists become conditioned to accept failure as the norm? There are many reasons for this poor prognosis. Some would proclaim that addictions are psychosomatically- induced and maintained in a semi-balanced force field of driving and restraining multidimensional forces. Others would say that failures are due simply to a lack of self-motivation or will power. Most would agree that lifestyle behavioral addictions are serious health risks that deserve our attention, but could it possibly be that patients with multiple addictions are being under diagnosed (with a single dependence) simply due to a lack of diagnostic tools and resources that are incapable of resolving the complexity of assessing and treating a patient with multiple addictions?

Diagnostic Delineation

Thus far, the DSM-IV-TR has not delineated a diagnosis for the complexity of multiple behavioral and substance addictions. It has reserved the Poly-substance Dependence diagnosis for a person who is repeatedly using at least three groups of substances during the same 12-month period, but the criteria for this diagnosis do not involve any behavioral addiction symptoms. In the Psychological Factors Affecting Medical Condition’s section (DSM-IV-TR, 2000); maladaptive health behaviors (e.g., unsafe sexual practices, excessive alcohol, drug use, and over eating, etc.) may be listed on Axis I, only if they are significantly affecting the course of treatment of a medical or mental condition.

Since successful treatment outcomes are dependent on thorough assessments, accurate diagnoses, and comprehensive individualized treatment planning, it is no wonder that repeated rehabilitation failures and low success rates are the norm instead of the exception in the addictions field, when the latest DSM-IV-TR does not even include a diagnosis for multiple addictive behavioral disorders. Treatment clinics need to have a treatment planning system and referral network that is equipped to thoroughly assess multiple addictive and mental health disorders and related treatment needs and comprehensively provide education/ awareness, prevention strategy groups, and/ or specific addictions treatment services for individuals diagnosed with multiple addictions. Written treatment goals and objectives should be specified for each separate addiction and dimension of an individuals’ life, and the desired performance outcome or completion criteria should be specifically stated, behaviorally based (a visible activity), and measurable.

New Proposed Diagnosis

To assist in resolving the limited DSM-IV-TRs’ diagnostic capability, a multidimensional diagnosis of “Poly-behavioral Addiction,” is proposed for more accurate diagnosis leading to more effective treatment planning. This diagnosis encompasses the broadest category of addictive disorders that would include an individual manifesting a combination of substance abuse addictions, and other obsessively-compulsive behavioral addictive behavioral patterns to pathological gambling, religion, and/ or sex / pornography, etc.). Behavioral addictions are just as damaging - psychologically and socially as alcohol and drug abuse. They are comparative to other life-style diseases such as diabetes, hypertension, and heart disease in their behavioral manifestations, their etiologies, and their resistance to treatments. They are progressive disorders that involve obsessive thinking and compulsive behaviors. They are also characterized by a preoccupation with a continuous or periodic loss of control, and continuous irrational behavior in spite of adverse consequences.

Poly-behavioral addiction would be described as a state of periodic or chronic physical, mental, emotional, cultural, sexual and/ or spiritual/ religious intoxication. These various types of intoxication are produced by repeated obsessive thoughts and compulsive practices involved in pathological relationships to any mood-altering substance, person, organization, belief system, and/ or activity. The individual has an overpowering desire, need or compulsion with the presence of a tendency to intensify their adherence to these practices, and evidence of phenomena of tolerance, abstinence and withdrawal, in which there is always physical and/ or psychic dependence on the effects of this pathological relationship. In addition, there is a 12 - month period in which an individual is pathologically involved with three or more behavioral and/ or substance use addictions simultaneously, but the criteria are not met for dependence for any one addiction in particular (Slobodzien, J., 2005). In essence, Poly-behavioral addiction is the synergistically integrated chronic dependence on multiple physiologically addictive substances and behaviors (e.g., using/ abusing substances - nicotine, alcohol, & drugs, and/or acting impulsively or obsessively compulsive in regards to gambling, food binging, sex, and/ or religion, etc.) simultaneously.

Conclusion

Considering the wide range of sexual behaviors in our world today, one should always take into account an individual’s ethnic, cultural, religious, and social background prior to making any clinical judgments, and it would be wise to not over-pathologize in this area of Sexual Dependency. However, since successful treatment outcomes are dependent on thorough assessments, accurate diagnoses, and comprehensive individualized treatment planning - poly-behavioral addiction needs to be identified to effectively treat the complexity of multiple behavioral and substance addictions.

Since chronic lifestyle diseases and disorders such as diabetes, hypertension, alcoholism, drug and behavioral addictions cannot be cured, but only managed - how should we effectively manage poly-behavioral addiction?

The Addiction Recovery Measurement System (ARMS) is proposed utilizing a multidimensional integrative assessment, treatment planning, treatment progress, and treatment outcome measurement tracking system that facilitates rapid and accurate recognition and evaluation of an individual’s comprehensive life-functioning progress dimensions. The ARMS hypothesis purports that there is a multidimensional synergistically negative resistance that individual’s develop to any one form of treatment to a single dimension of their lives, because the effects of an individual’s addiction have dynamically interacted multi-dimensionally. Having the primary focus on one dimension is insufficient. Traditionally, addiction treatment programs have failed to accommodate for the multidimensional synergistically negative effects of an individual having multiple addictions, (e.g. nicotine, alcohol, and obesity, etc.). Behavioral addictions interact negatively with each other and with strategies to improve overall functioning. They tend to encourage the use of tobacco, alcohol and other drugs, help increase violence, decrease functional capacity, and promote social isolation. Most treatment theories today involve assessing other dimensions to identify dual diagnosis or co-morbidity diagnoses, or to assess contributing factors that may play a role in the individual’s primary addiction. The ARMS’ theory proclaims that a multidimensional treatment plan must be devised addressing the possible multiple addictions identified for each one of an individual’s life dimensions in addition to developing specific goals and objectives for each dimension.

Partnerships and coordination among service providers, government departments, and community organizations in providing addiction treatment programs are a necessity in addressing the multi-task solution to poly-behavioral addiction. I encourage you to support the addiction programs in America, and hope that the (ARMS) resources can assist you to personally fight the War on poly-behavioral addiction.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=James_Slobodzien

Falling In Love - Is It True Love or Infatuation?

Falling in love - someday it will happen to you. You will find yourself suddenly falling in love and it will amaze you.

You can't run away from it. Love eventually catches up with everyone. It may be sooner or
later. Whatever the time, however long it takes, you can be absolutely sure someday will fall
head over heels in love with someone.

But that is not the scary part.

The part that scares most people is the fact love sometimes tend to be blind - or
so it seems.

The truth is, true love is hard to come by. Real love is rare. When you finally find
something that seems like true love, you grab it with both hands. You invest everything
you've got in it. Unfortunately, you may find out months later that it isn't real love. You
have been chasing a dream!

That brings us back to the really scary part. Love tends to be blind. People falling in love
tend to be irrational and illogical. The love emotion takes over. Thereafter nothing else
matters.

Why is this scary?

The answer is simple. Love can be destructive. Love, blind love, can ruin your life.

Yes, some kind of love is blind love. This kind of love is infatuation.

True love or real love, is constructive and upbuilding. True love is

  • Realistic
  • Compassionate
  • Considerate
  • Unselfish
  • Practical and down-to-earth

    Blind love or infatuation is unrealistic, selfish, and destructive.

    When falling in love, ask yourself what kind of love you are falling into. Is it true love or
    infatuation? Is your love based on unselfish and realistic expectations or on a fantasy?

    Consider an example of how blind love, infatuation, can be.

    Sharon was from a decent and wealthy home. She was an undergraduate who had everything she
    wanted. She was astoundingly beauty and well-trained and cultured. Understandly, suitors came
    in droves.

    Her father's wealth poured her way so she was rich in the accepted sense of the word. The
    suitors asking her hand in marriage were just as rich. Many had an enviable social status.

    However, Sharon just wasn't interested. Marriage wasn't in her books yet. And when she decides
    to get married, she would marry the man of her dreams. So she said.

    Eventually, Sharon fell in love. Unfortunately, her lover was a rude shock to everyone
    including her parents.

    Sharon's boyfriend was a heroine smoking cult boy with an attitude. He wasn't exactly crazy
    about her. But she footed his bill and paid his way to smoking haven. So he put up with her.

    Sharon, on the other hand, was madly in love. She saw something in him she hadn't seen anywhere
    else. Her boyfriend, Larry, was broad shouldered, tall, tough, raw, bold, unrelenting, and
    daring. He could stare death in the face and not bart an eyelid. Her boyfriend was a real man!

    Sharon was madly in love with Larry and there was no stopping her. Her parents could not
    understand why their rich and well-breed daughter fell in love with a poor heroine smoking
    gangster. Her friends couldn't undertand either.

    Can you feel Sharon's love? Do you understand why her gentle her fell for a hoodlum?

    Sharon fell in love with a dream - a bold, daring, no nonsense, dare devil guy. He had the
    looks and the heart of a lion. She admired that bravery, that manly boldness. Soon that
    admiration turned to love. And there was no stopping her.

    However, she's on the wrong road.

    True love is not based on physical attraction. Physical attraction eventually fails as people
    get older and age. What counts most is spiritual virtues - your lover's personality.

    A heroine smoking gangster will eventually get into trouble and land himself in jail. A
    cultist gangster takes delight in beating people up and formenting trouble. Sooner or later,
    if they get married, she may become a battered wife.

    Do you get the point?

    Infatuation is blind, physical, destructive. True love is clear-sighted, upbuilding,
    refreshing.

    True love, real love, is based on realistic expectations and facts. It is selfless and works
    for the good of her partner. Infatuation, on the other hand, doesn't care about reality. It
    focuses on the physical and immediate gain.

    Evaluate your feelings properly before continuing with that love relationship.

    Relationships based on true love lasts forever. Relationships based on infatuation are
    usually temporary and momentary. That is the very reason why some marriages last two weeks,
    some seven days and still others, a lifetime.

    The difference is true love. Real love is true and lasts forever.

    Thinking of falling in love?

    Make sure it is real love. Evaluate your lovers potentials in relation to your desire most -
    what is known and proven to that make relationships last.

    Hey, fall in love the right way. It's your life. It's your future. It's your happiness at
    stake.

  • Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Samson_Itoje

    Tuesday, June 23, 2009

    Adakah anda dan pasangan anda sudah jemu dengan posisi-posisi seks yang sama setiap kali berasmara?

    Memperkenalkan Kamasutra Bergambar versi Bahasa Melayu, ebook yang pertama seumpamanya di Malaysia.

    Ebook Kamasutra Bergambar versi Bahasa Melayu

    Pada 1 oktober 2008, saya telah melancarkan satu ebook iaitu Kamasutra Bergambar versi Bahasa Melayu, yang telah saya berikan percuma sebagai bahan muat-turun kepada pelayar laman web Info Seks Melayu.

    Ebook yang mengandungi 30 mukasurat tersebut telah dimuatturun oleh lebih 10,000 pelayar laman web Info Seks Melayu.

    Sejak pelancaran ebook percuma tersebut, saya telah menerima beratus-ratus email yang meminta saya menerbitkan ebook yang mengandungi lebih informasi tentang Kamasutra Bergambar dalam Bahasa Melayu.

    Antara E-mail yang saya terima

    Setelah membuat kajian terperinci dan mengumpul maklumat-maklumat yang berkaitan, akhirnya terhasil lah sebuah ebook Kamasutra Bergambar versi Bahasa Melayu bahagian kedua.

    Ebook terbaru ini mengandungi 161 mukasurat dengan posisi seks bergambar bersama tips-tips dan panduan untuk kebahagiaan Hubungan Seksual!

    Isi Kandungan Utama Ebook Kamasutra Bergambar versi Bahasa Melayu ini

    Kamasutra (Seni Berasmara)

    Kamasutra adalah sebuah kitab kuno dari India yang ditulis oleh Vatsayana berdasarkan kajian beliau ke atas gerak laku seksual manusia. Kamasutra dikatakan adalah manual seks yang paling tua di dunia...

    Ananga Ranga (Peringkat Percintaan)

    Ananga Ranga adalah sebuah manual hubungan seks yang ditulis oleh Kalyana Malla pada kurun ke 15. Ramai mengatakan tujuan utama Ananga Ranga ditulis adalah untuk mengelakkan perpisahan antara suami isteri....

    Taman Harum (The Perfumed Garden)

    "The Perfumed Garden" adalah sebuah manual hubungan seks yang ditulis oleh Muhammad al-Nafzawi sekitar tahun 1410 sehingga 1434. Nama asal manual yang ditulis oleh al-Nafzawi ini ialah "The Perfumed Garden of Sensual Delight" atau dalam bahasa arabnya, "Al-rawd al-'âtir fî nuzhati'l khâtir"....

    Tao (Cantuman Asmara)

    Manual Seks Taoist dicipta dengan tujuan utama untuk mengekalkan kesihatan pengamal ajaran Taoist. Pengikut-pengikut ajaran Taoist percaya dengan mengamalkan seni-seni ajaran Taoist ketika melakukan hubungan seksual, mereka akan dapat mengekalkan kesihatan luaran dan dalaman, dan jika ditambah dengan senaman-senaman lain, mereka akan dapat melambatkan proses penuaan...

    Tanda-tanda kepuasan bagi seorang wanita adalah ketenangan pada reaksi tubuhnya, dan kerelaan sepenuhnya untuk menyatukan "yoni" (faraj) dengan "lingam" (zakar) pasangannya...


    Vatsayana (Pengarang Kamasutra)

    Anda tidak tahu apa itu Kamasutra, Ananga Ranga, Taman Harum dan Tao?

    Kamasutra, Ananga Ranga, Taman Harum dan Tao, adalah Kitab Manual Seks yang ditulis pada zaman kuno, berkurun-kurun lamanya sebelum generasi kita mencelikkan mata di dunia ini.

    Kamasutra dan Ananga Ranga adalah Kitab dari India, Taman Harum pula di tulis oleh seorang cendiakawan Arab yang tersohor, dan pengamal amalan seksual Taoist telah membukukan ajaran mereka ke dalam Kitab Tao.

    Jadi Ebook Kamasutra Bergambar versi Bahasa Melayu ini mengandungi EMPAT kitab kuno berasingan yang dicantumkan menjadi satu!

    Antara posisi-posisi hubungan seks yang terdapat dalam ebook ini ialah:

    Posisi Lotus

    Si Wanita menyilangkan kakinya dan membawa kakinya hampir kepada perut, Si lelaki kemudiannya memasukkan zakar...

    Posisi Pemecah Dara

    Dalam posisi ini faraj si wanita berada dalam keadaan yang rapat dan ketat. Si lelaki harus cermat dan...

    Posisi Belahan Indra

    Si wanita berbaring dengan kedua-dua belah kaki ...wanita digalakkan mengusap buah dada dalam posisi ini untuk...

    Posisi Roda Karma

    Si lelaki harus kuat memegang badan si wanita dalam posisi ini.... menggerakkan badannya dalam pusingan seperti roda...

    Posisi Pelangi

    Ini adalah posisi yang unik dan dapat memberikan kenikmatan yang lain daripada yang lain jika dicuba oleh pasangan....

    Posisi Ikatan Jed

    Diilhamkan dari seni menyambung jed yang penuh dengan ketekunan dan kesenian, si wanita...Si lelaki memasuki wanita dan mengangkat...

    Dan banyak lagi Posisi-Posisi Hubungan Seks yang berjumlah 102 POSISI kesemuanya..! (Selepas ni confirm anda tak akan jemu dengan posisi yang sama setiap kali bersama pasangan anda)

    Bayangkan apa yang boleh anda lakukan dengan 102 posisi seks yang unik dan tidak pernah anda ketahui wujud sebelum ini!

    Mungkin anda perlu membeli katil yang lebih besar selepas membaca ebook ini ;-)

    Selain memaparkan 102 POSISI SEKS BERGAMBAR, ebook Kamasutra Bergambar versi Bahasa Melayu ini turut memberikan tips dan panduan seperti:

    Zon Hotspot

    Ketahui dimanakah bahagian-bahagian yang paling sensitif bagi lelaki dan wanita, dan bagaimana untuk meransang sepenuhnya bahagian-bahagian ini

    ...Apabila bahagian-bahagian sensitif pada badan diusap... Untuk Lelaki: Ketika pasangan anda mengusap zakar anda, usaplah...Untuk Wanita: Ketika pasangan anda membelai badan anda...

    Urutan & Ciuman

    Ketahui teknik-teknik urutan yang akan membangkitkan nafsu pasangan anda, dan bagaimana untuk menjadi seorang pakar dalam ciuman

    ...Salah satu teknik ciuman Kamasutra, Vatsayana mempraktikkan teknik ciuman dengan memegang lembut bahagian...

    Mandi Kucing

    Ini bukan teknik untuk memandikan kucing, tetapi teknik memandikan pasangan anda menggunakan lidah. Jangan terkejut bila melihat pasangan anda mengeliat kesedapan bila anda menggunakan teknik ni

    ...Biarkan air liur anda bercampur dengan peluh pasangan anda apabila anda bergilir-gilir menjilat dan menghembus tubuh badan...

    Penetrasi Lidah

    Mat saleh panggil "oral sex", tetapi teknik ni dah lama wujud. Ketahui teknik asal yang belum pernah anda ketahui wujud

    ...Untuk Wanita: Pegang zakar pasangan anda dengan lembut dan cium zakar pasangan anda. Cium perlahan-lahan...

    Teknik Tusukan

    Jangan ingat asal boleh masuk dah ok. Terdapat banyak lagi teknik tusukan yang boleh anda aplikasikan kepada isteri anda. Ketahui "the best of the best" dalam panduan ini

    Vatsyayana telah memberikan beberapa teknik tusukan zakar untuk membolehkan zakar bertindak untuk memberikan kepuasan maksima kepada pasangannya.Berikut ialah beberapa teknik tusukan yang disyorkan dalam ajaran Kamasutra...

    Urutan Dalaman

    Untuk perempuan pun ada. Ketahui bagaimana untuk mengurut zakar pasangan anda dengan hanya menggunakan otot-otot faraj anda. Rugi kalau tak tahu teknik ni.

    Vatsayana menggalakkan si wanita memicit dan mengurut zakar si lelaki dengan menggunakan otot-otot di dalam faraj. Untuk melakukan urutan ini...

    Dan banyak lagi TIPS, TEKNIK dan PANDUAN yang terdapat dalam ebook ini, sesuai untuk lelaki dan juga wanita.

    TIPS, TEKNIK dan PANDUAN yang saya masukkan dalam ebook ini adalah pilihan terbaik yang dipilih dari Kitab Kuno Kamasutra, Ananga Ranga, Taman Harum dan Tao.

    Dari memberhentikan usapan dan gentelan pada klitoris selepas si dia mencapai ejakulasi, teruskan usapan tersebut dan lihat apa yang bakal terjadi...


    Kalyana Malla (Pengarang Ananga Ranga)

    161 Mukasurat, Panduan dan Tips dari Kitab-kitab kuno yang telah terbukti keberkesanannya, 102 Posisi Bergambar dengan penerangan dan panduan dalam Bahasa Melayu..

    Saya Berminat! Bagaimana saya nak dapatkan Ebook ni?

    Anda boleh mendapatkan Ebook Kamasutra Bergambar versi Bahasa Melayu ini melalui pautan di bawah, tetapi tunggu...

    Sempena pelancaran Ebook pertama saya, saya dengan berbesar hati ingin memberikan lagi ilmu-ilmu berkaitan hubungan seksual kepada anda dengan kos yang tidak masuk akal!



    Monday, June 22, 2009

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    Sunday, June 21, 2009

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    Saturday, June 20, 2009

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    Friday, June 19, 2009

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    Thursday, June 18, 2009

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    Sunday, June 14, 2009

    Learn About Safe Sex From The Mario Bros.


    ..Know about sex? Good, 'cos we know nothing. Happy to have Mario and Luigi fill us in on this like puberty and STDs in this NSFW clip..

    Ready for your best sex ever? Then check out these easy Tantra exercises to learn how to activate amazingly powerful mind-body connections with your partner.

    Learn About the Tantra

    Believed to date back 5,000 years, Tantric sex is an ancient Eastern spiritual practice. Like yoga or Zen, it is practiced for the purpose of enlightenment -- and the philosophy transcends the bedroom into all aspects of life. In the Tantric view, sex and orgasm equal spiritual awareness at its peak. When Shiva, male energy, and Shakti, female energy, come into a sexual union, it is believed to be the highest point of enlightenment.
    We all hold the key to Tantric sex: breath. If you can keep your body relaxed and your mind clear of the mundane, your "inner goddess" can be fully present. Using your breath, you can spread orgasmic energy from your genitals through your entire body. This totalitarian tingling can lead to a deeper, more intimate connection with your partner.

    Despite all the talk of too-good-for-words orgasm, the big "O" is not the goal of Tantra. Instead, it's just being in the moment and riding a wave of sensation and arousal (yours and your partner's). If you focus on getting to one big bang at the end, you may miss out on tons of other "orgasmic joys" happening in your bodies along the way. Tantric instructors promise that in addition to fuller orgasms, women experience orgasm more quickly since they learn to become more relaxed and sensitized. Try these easy exercises, advises Dawn Cartwright, a SkyDancing Tantra instructor in Los Angeles, to get you started.

    Thursday, June 11, 2009

    Nikmati Malam Bersama

    MALAM pertama adalah satu cabaran jika pasangan berkenaan tidak berpengalaman ‘bermain cinta’. Jika pasangan wanita selama ini menyimpan kesuciannya untuk jejaka idaman, pasti malam pertama memberi makna kepadanya apabila dapat memberi anugerah yang sangat bernilai itu kepada pasangannya dan mereka mengecapi gelora malam berkenaan.

    42-16971014

    Namun, perlu diingatkan kepada wanita supaya tidak perlu takut atau ‘seriau’ dengan ‘pelayaran’ malam pertama kerana ia akan memberi tekanan kepada dirinya dan juga pasangan. Sebaik-baiknya, mereka melayani dengan mengikut jejak langkah dan memberi kerjasama kepada pasangan supaya sentuhan malam pertama berjalan lancar.

    Seseorang wanita juga perlu bersabar jika tidak disentuh pada malam pertama kerana mungkin pasangan mereka masih dalam peringkat menyesuaikan diri atau terasa letih dan lesu selepas proses perkahwinan.

    Jika keadaan mengizinkan, hubungan keintiman seksual dilakukan dan sentuhan malam pertama akan berlaku, tetapi pasangan wanita perlu tahu fungsinya apabila pasangan mereka mendekati dan mula menyentuh tubuh sambil melucutkan pakaiannya sehelai demi sehelai.

    Dia boleh membantu pasangannya bersedia dengan menyentuh mengikut keselesaan pasangannya. Menyentuh anggota sulit pasangan ketika itu mungkin mengakibatkan pasangan hilang kawalan syahwat dan boleh menyebabkannya terpancut.

    Apabila sentuhan intim berjalan hingga ke peringkat pasangan lelaki hendak mendekatkan ereksinya ke paras anggota sulit, pasangan wanita perlu melegakan pahanya bagi memudahkan proses berkenaan.

    Paling penting ketika malam pertama ialah pasangan wanita perlu melegakan kemut bagi membolehkan ereksi lelaki dapat terlepas daripada ‘penahan’ iaitu selaput dara yang mengelilingi pembukaan faraj.

    Jika terasa kesat untuk permulaan, geselan boleh dilakukan secara lembut dan sentuhan tubuh badan dilakukan serentak supaya rangsangan berlaku dan mukosa faraj menjadi lebih lembap serta memudahkan pergerakan zakar ke dalam faraj.

    Andainya masih juga kesat, tidak salah untuk pasangan berkenaan menggunakan jeli bagi memudahkan lagi kemasukan zakar ke dalam faraj kerana apabila sudah ‘mengenali’ sentuhan pertama itu, mereka akan rasa yakin dan tidak teragak-agak mengulanginya mengikut kehendak dan cita rasa mereka.

    Bagaimanapun, perlu diingatkan bahawa masalah boleh berlaku. Pasangan lelaki boleh terasa tertekan atau cemas kerana memikirkan tanggungjawab yang hendak dilakukannya, iaitu hubungan penetratif.

    Jika berasa seriau, pasangan lelaki akan mudah hilang kawalan dan perasaan rangsangan menyebabkan ereksi yang membina itu terus kendur, sekali gus dia gagal melakukan tanggungjawab malam pertama kepada pasangannya.

    Keadaan ini dikenali sebagai ‘mati pucuk malam pertama’. Perkara sama boleh berlaku kepada pasangan wanita. Jika seriau, dia tidak dapat mengawal pembukaan faraj dan ketika pasangan ingin menyalurkan ereksi, farajnya akan mencengkam tanpa kawalan yang dikenali ‘vaginismus’.

    Petikan artikel:http://www.isteripuas.com

    Nikmati hubungan seks yang luar biasa...isteri anda pasti tersenyum riang disamping mu..

    How Home Mortgage Modification Works

    If you are like most struggling homeowners, then you've probably looked around online and maybe even visited a financial counselor for help paying your mortgage. Most lenders offer various repayment plans including home mortgage modification. It sounds intriguing, but you may not be sure precisely what is involved in home mortgage modification.

    In this program, the borrower and the lender collaborate to change the terms and conditions on the original mortgage. By doing so, it is hoped that they can come to a mutual agreement on a new monthly payment that is both affordable for the borrower and profitable for the lender.

    Though the basic processes for loan modifications follow roughly the same steps, every modification is uniquely tailored to your personal financial situation. After the bank receives your application for loan modification and the required financial documentation, a loss mitigation specialist is assigned to your application and will contact you with the results. Please be patient, as reviewing all applications may take time. If it is decided that you qualify for loan modification, you'll get approval and the negotiation process will begin.

    Remember that getting a modified loan is by nature a compromise. Your bank will give a little, but you will too. The overall payment amount probably won't change by that much - it's likely that your loan will be extended a number of years so that your payment goes down but the overall amount stays the same. Remember that the purpose of modification is to keep you in your home and allow you to begin meeting your monthly payments. It is not a get-rich-quick scheme. It is for honest people who just want a clean slate to begin again.

    If you're curious about home mortgage modification, call your lender and ask about their criteria for participating in the program. Getting approved for a modification might be the first thing you can do toward future financial stability.

    Click here to get the help you need to qualify for a home mortgage modification.

    How Home Mortgage Modification Works

    If you are like most struggling homeowners, then you've probably looked around online and maybe even visited a financial counselor for help paying your mortgage. Most lenders offer various repayment plans including home mortgage modification. It sounds intriguing, but you may not be sure precisely what is involved in home mortgage modification.

    In this program, the borrower and the lender collaborate to change the terms and conditions on the original mortgage. By doing so, it is hoped that they can come to a mutual agreement on a new monthly payment that is both affordable for the borrower and profitable for the lender.

    Though the basic processes for loan modifications follow roughly the same steps, every modification is uniquely tailored to your personal financial situation. After the bank receives your application for loan modification and the required financial documentation, a loss mitigation specialist is assigned to your application and will contact you with the results. Please be patient, as reviewing all applications may take time. If it is decided that you qualify for loan modification, you'll get approval and the negotiation process will begin.

    Remember that getting a modified loan is by nature a compromise. Your bank will give a little, but you will too. The overall payment amount probably won't change by that much - it's likely that your loan will be extended a number of years so that your payment goes down but the overall amount stays the same. Remember that the purpose of modification is to keep you in your home and allow you to begin meeting your monthly payments. It is not a get-rich-quick scheme. It is for honest people who just want a clean slate to begin again.

    If you're curious about home mortgage modification, call your lender and ask about their criteria for participating in the program. Getting approved for a modification might be the first thing you can do toward future financial stability.

    Click here to get the help you need to qualify for a home mortgage modification.

    Home Mortgage Loan Modification - Processes and Procedures

    For many mortgage holders who can no longer afford their monthly payments due to setbacks like a job loss, home mortgage loan modification is a solution. It is the way that they use to get back on their feet with a second chance from their lender, so they can start making good on their mortgage payments again like they used to. People who have already fallen behind on their mortgage and who are current but are at serious risk for falling behind in the near future are eligible for a new loan.

    Home mortgage loan modification is an agreement between the homeowner and the lender that allows them to revise the loan terms and conditions. The end goal is to get the monthly payment to fall to a realistic percentage of a person's gross monthly income. It's quite obvious if your current payment is 45% of what you make or more, there's no way you can keep it up for long. That's where lenders come in with various home loan modification programs.

    There are some specifications about the maximum value of the home, minimum amount of home equity, date of loan origination, and homeowner income level that must be met in order to qualify. But if the criteria for your lending institution are met, you could end up with a new monthly payment on your mortgage.

    How do banks adjust the monthly payment amount? Usually through a combination of interest rate reduction and extension on the overall loan term. Though rare, a lender may even choose to forbear some of the principal on the mortgage loan. Through these strategies, you could have the chance to work out an acceptable new payment with the loss mitigation specialist assigned to your case and get your mortgage modified.

    Click here to get the help you need to qualify for a federal loan modification.

    Loan Modification - Do it Yourself, Or Hire Someone?

    Loan Modification Do it yourself, or hire someone? Great question. When considering whether to do it yourself or not, consider these items:

    1. What are you going to ask for?
    2. What is your hardship?
    3. How will you document your income?
    4. What have you already done to try to solve the problem?
    5. Do you have all the documents ready to go?
    6. Do you have the time, effort and energy to invest?
    7. What is the compelling reason the bank should give you a modification?
    8. Is a loan modification really the best option for you?

    I don't know where this idea got started but many people think that a loan modification is just a matter of calling the bank and sending in some paperwork. This simply is just not true. You have to understand that the banks job is to collect what is owed. They are just not going to "roll over" and give you a reduction because you want it. It simply doesn't work that way.

    The bank is not your friend. The bank is in the business of making money for the bank.

    If you decide to hire someone to do it for you, this is what I suggest that you look for.

    1. A company that has been around at least 1 year.
    2. A company that is rated A by the Better Business Bureau
    3. A company that has DOCUMENTED success stories, with your lender.
    4. A company that has an Attorney ON STAFF (not remote)
    5. A company that has some sort of refund policy.
    6. A company that has the staff ON STAFF that will process/negotiate your file.

    How long should it take?

    If you are doing it yourself there is no answer to that question. Most people get the major run around for 3-6 months before deciding to do something else.

    Many times a professional negotiator can put an immediate stop to the foreclosure process, buying time for a SERIOUS negotiation of the loan.

    Typically it takes anywhere from 2-6 months to negotiate a successful loan modification. Sometimes faster, sometimes slower... Every case is different.

    Payment

    Most companies want their fees upfront. This is actually logical if you think about it. It is very similar to an attorney representing you in court. Does the attorney guarantee a certain outcome? Does the attorney want to get paid at the end or the beginning?

    Another side of this coin is... For many people that are in serious financial hard ship... Would you work for them for free? Will a doctor do surgery for free? There is no compensation from the lender to the firm negotiating the loan modification. Remember this is not a refinance; this is a RENEGOTIATION of your existing loan.

    Do it yourself or not?... Maybe both

    Many consumers that attempt loan modification themselves end up worse off then they started. When the lender offers to take any arrears, and "roll it into the loan" this ends up making the payment bigger not smaller. These very same people end up in trouble again just a few months later.

    Often times working with the bank directly (getting poor results or no results over a several month period) causes consumers to seek professional help and counseling.

    Keith Jenkins is an small businessman as well as a real estate professional. He has over 30 years experience in marketing and Real Estate. For additional information on Loan Modifiction, please contact him directly.
    Keith Jenkins
    Better Life America
    keithjenkins@betterlifeamerica.com
    (888) 344-9333 x 132

    Home Mortgage Loan Modification - Processes and Procedures

    For many mortgage holders who can no longer afford their monthly payments due to setbacks like a job loss, home mortgage loan modification is a solution. It is the way that they use to get back on their feet with a second chance from their lender, so they can start making good on their mortgage payments again like they used to. People who have already fallen behind on their mortgage and who are current but are at serious risk for falling behind in the near future are eligible for a new loan.

    Home mortgage loan modification is an agreement between the homeowner and the lender that allows them to revise the loan terms and conditions. The end goal is to get the monthly payment to fall to a realistic percentage of a person's gross monthly income. It's quite obvious if your current payment is 45% of what you make or more, there's no way you can keep it up for long. That's where lenders come in with various home loan modification programs.

    There are some specifications about the maximum value of the home, minimum amount of home equity, date of loan origination, and homeowner income level that must be met in order to qualify. But if the criteria for your lending institution are met, you could end up with a new monthly payment on your mortgage.

    How do banks adjust the monthly payment amount? Usually through a combination of interest rate reduction and extension on the overall loan term. Though rare, a lender may even choose to forbear some of the principal on the mortgage loan. Through these strategies, you could have the chance to work out an acceptable new payment with the loss mitigation specialist assigned to your case and get your mortgage modified.

    Click here to get the help you need to qualify for a federal loan modification.

    Loan Modification - Do it Yourself, Or Hire Someone?

    Loan Modification Do it yourself, or hire someone? Great question. When considering whether to do it yourself or not, consider these items:

    1. What are you going to ask for?
    2. What is your hardship?
    3. How will you document your income?
    4. What have you already done to try to solve the problem?
    5. Do you have all the documents ready to go?
    6. Do you have the time, effort and energy to invest?
    7. What is the compelling reason the bank should give you a modification?
    8. Is a loan modification really the best option for you?

    I don't know where this idea got started but many people think that a loan modification is just a matter of calling the bank and sending in some paperwork. This simply is just not true. You have to understand that the banks job is to collect what is owed. They are just not going to "roll over" and give you a reduction because you want it. It simply doesn't work that way.

    The bank is not your friend. The bank is in the business of making money for the bank.

    If you decide to hire someone to do it for you, this is what I suggest that you look for.

    1. A company that has been around at least 1 year.
    2. A company that is rated A by the Better Business Bureau
    3. A company that has DOCUMENTED success stories, with your lender.
    4. A company that has an Attorney ON STAFF (not remote)
    5. A company that has some sort of refund policy.
    6. A company that has the staff ON STAFF that will process/negotiate your file.

    How long should it take?

    If you are doing it yourself there is no answer to that question. Most people get the major run around for 3-6 months before deciding to do something else.

    Many times a professional negotiator can put an immediate stop to the foreclosure process, buying time for a SERIOUS negotiation of the loan.

    Typically it takes anywhere from 2-6 months to negotiate a successful loan modification. Sometimes faster, sometimes slower... Every case is different.

    Payment

    Most companies want their fees upfront. This is actually logical if you think about it. It is very similar to an attorney representing you in court. Does the attorney guarantee a certain outcome? Does the attorney want to get paid at the end or the beginning?

    Another side of this coin is... For many people that are in serious financial hard ship... Would you work for them for free? Will a doctor do surgery for free? There is no compensation from the lender to the firm negotiating the loan modification. Remember this is not a refinance; this is a RENEGOTIATION of your existing loan.

    Do it yourself or not?... Maybe both

    Many consumers that attempt loan modification themselves end up worse off then they started. When the lender offers to take any arrears, and "roll it into the loan" this ends up making the payment bigger not smaller. These very same people end up in trouble again just a few months later.

    Often times working with the bank directly (getting poor results or no results over a several month period) causes consumers to seek professional help and counseling.

    Keith Jenkins is an small businessman as well as a real estate professional. He has over 30 years experience in marketing and Real Estate. For additional information on Loan Modifiction, please contact him directly.
    Keith Jenkins
    Better Life America
    keithjenkins@betterlifeamerica.com
    (888) 344-9333 x 132

    How Homeowners Can Get a 4.5% Fixed Rate Mortgage Refinance Or Modification From Obama's Stimulus

    Can you imagine the savings in having a 4.5% fixed rate mortgage? Well now, with President Obama's "Making Home Affordable Plan" this is possible for millions of homeowners. Under the guidelines of this plan, a homeowner can refinance or modify their current home loan into a new one, with a 4.5% fixed rate. Here is how it all works.

    The Government and President Obama have funded this housing stimulus refinance plan with over $75 billion in funding. This money will mainly be used to give cash incentives and bonuses to cover and potential losses a mortgage lender or bank may incur by refinancing or modifying a homeowners mortgage. This means that with less financial risk, the approval rates for refinancing and modification should go up. When a homeowner can refinance or modify their loan, they have a greatly increased chance of keeping and staying in their home, as opposed to mortgage default or foreclosure.

    Under this plan, homeowners can look forward to 4.5% fixed rate interest rates. With these low rates, a homeowner will be able to save huge amounts of money each and every single month. This money could ideally be used to reduce other debts, improve your home, or for whatever else you can think of. It is hopeful that once foreclosures are reduced and home values start to rise again, consumer confidence will also rise, benefiting the entire housing market.

    This is a great time for a lot of homeowners to at least consider refinancing or mortgage modification This could, and probably will using this "Making Home Affordable" plan, save large amounts of money every single month for the average homeowner. President Obama has specially designed this plan to help the most financially struggling homeowners, although a lot of different people, regardless of finances, still qualify.

    My website will teach you how to properly refinance or modify a home mortgage saving you thousands of dollars, or even your home. A lot of Greedy Mortgage Lenders will try to suck you dry if you let them. Learn the right way to refinance or modify your home loan at my site: http://www.refinancingcondo.com

    How Homeowners Can Get a 4.5% Fixed Rate Mortgage Refinance Or Modification From Obama's Stimulus

    Can you imagine the savings in having a 4.5% fixed rate mortgage? Well now, with President Obama's "Making Home Affordable Plan" this is possible for millions of homeowners. Under the guidelines of this plan, a homeowner can refinance or modify their current home loan into a new one, with a 4.5% fixed rate. Here is how it all works.

    The Government and President Obama have funded this housing stimulus refinance plan with over $75 billion in funding. This money will mainly be used to give cash incentives and bonuses to cover and potential losses a mortgage lender or bank may incur by refinancing or modifying a homeowners mortgage. This means that with less financial risk, the approval rates for refinancing and modification should go up. When a homeowner can refinance or modify their loan, they have a greatly increased chance of keeping and staying in their home, as opposed to mortgage default or foreclosure.

    Under this plan, homeowners can look forward to 4.5% fixed rate interest rates. With these low rates, a homeowner will be able to save huge amounts of money each and every single month. This money could ideally be used to reduce other debts, improve your home, or for whatever else you can think of. It is hopeful that once foreclosures are reduced and home values start to rise again, consumer confidence will also rise, benefiting the entire housing market.

    This is a great time for a lot of homeowners to at least consider refinancing or mortgage modification This could, and probably will using this "Making Home Affordable" plan, save large amounts of money every single month for the average homeowner. President Obama has specially designed this plan to help the most financially struggling homeowners, although a lot of different people, regardless of finances, still qualify.

    My website will teach you how to properly refinance or modify a home mortgage saving you thousands of dollars, or even your home. A lot of Greedy Mortgage Lenders will try to suck you dry if you let them. Learn the right way to refinance or modify your home loan at my site: http://www.refinancingcondo.com

    Home Mortgage Borrower and Lender

    The major two parties that participate in any home mortgage loan transaction are the home mortgage loan borrower, and the home mortgage loan lender. The seller of the property plays a significant role during this scenario, but not really as much as the borrower or the lender. So what exactly are the roles of both the borrower, and the lender?

    The borrower of the home mortgage loan is the party that receives the necessary funds from the lender in order to buy the property from the seller. This is no different than most conventional loan arrangements, in that a borrower receives funds from a lender in order to purchase some product. The major difference present with any home mortgage arrangement is the fact that the borrower provides the property he or she is purchasing as collateral to the lender, even though that borrower is the one purchasing the property. The mortgage then comes into the picture, because the mortgage is the technical name for the security provided to the lender as collateral. The mortgage enables the borrower to acquire the funds from the lender, because by providing the lender with a mortgage on the property, the lender can then fail safe making such a large loan.

    The borrower typically still has to pay a substantial percentage of the final sale price of the property to the lender, and this is what is known as the down payment. This amount can vary from anywhere between thirty, to sometimes zero percent. If the borrower has enough money for the down payment, and meets all of the other requirements of the lender, he or she should get approved for the home mortgage loan, and will then have to make payments for the entire life of the loan. If the borrower doesn't fulfill these debt obligations, the mortgage enables the lender to begin the foreclosure process, and take control of the property. The lender has the legal right to do this vis-à-vis the mortgage, and given this right they feel secure making such large loans to borrowers. Both borrowers and lenders need to become well-versed in both parties' roles during any mortgage scenario, as both play a critical role in the establishment of any home mortgage loan.

    To find out more about the home mortgage loan please visit the website My Atlanta Home Mortgage

    Home Mortgage Borrower and Lender

    The major two parties that participate in any home mortgage loan transaction are the home mortgage loan borrower, and the home mortgage loan lender. The seller of the property plays a significant role during this scenario, but not really as much as the borrower or the lender. So what exactly are the roles of both the borrower, and the lender?

    The borrower of the home mortgage loan is the party that receives the necessary funds from the lender in order to buy the property from the seller. This is no different than most conventional loan arrangements, in that a borrower receives funds from a lender in order to purchase some product. The major difference present with any home mortgage arrangement is the fact that the borrower provides the property he or she is purchasing as collateral to the lender, even though that borrower is the one purchasing the property. The mortgage then comes into the picture, because the mortgage is the technical name for the security provided to the lender as collateral. The mortgage enables the borrower to acquire the funds from the lender, because by providing the lender with a mortgage on the property, the lender can then fail safe making such a large loan.

    The borrower typically still has to pay a substantial percentage of the final sale price of the property to the lender, and this is what is known as the down payment. This amount can vary from anywhere between thirty, to sometimes zero percent. If the borrower has enough money for the down payment, and meets all of the other requirements of the lender, he or she should get approved for the home mortgage loan, and will then have to make payments for the entire life of the loan. If the borrower doesn't fulfill these debt obligations, the mortgage enables the lender to begin the foreclosure process, and take control of the property. The lender has the legal right to do this vis-à-vis the mortgage, and given this right they feel secure making such large loans to borrowers. Both borrowers and lenders need to become well-versed in both parties' roles during any mortgage scenario, as both play a critical role in the establishment of any home mortgage loan.

    To find out more about the home mortgage loan please visit the website My Atlanta Home Mortgage

    Home Mortgage Grants - How to Get Free House Mortgage Grants?

    The U.S economy has been undergoing several ups and downs. The recession along with the other fluctuations have left the home owners stressed and tensed. The stimulus package 2009 announced by the president have somehow added some relief to the lives of these house owners. This plan provides affordability to the owners by providing several options to save their homes. The Federal government also offers various home mortgage grants.

    There are several kinds of Home Mortgage Grants available to the owners. These are as follows:

    * There are grants that help you get the down payment to buy your own homes. This money needs not be repaid. There are various grants that are offered to the first time home buyer. But for that you must be above 18 years of age, the house must be located in U.S. in addition to these, it must be your principle residence and you must have got it in inheritance or as some gift.

    * Apart from new home these home mortgage grants are also available for refinance and modification. You may apply for the free money that helps you pay your debts or any missed payments too.

    Eligibility for Home Mortgage Grants

    There are certain eligibility conditions set by the Federal Government in order to avail the house mortgage grants. These grants are given after the complete satisfaction that you really need the money. You must check them before applying for any of them. There are some private institutions and non profit foundations that help you get these privileges.

    HUD (U.S. Housing and Urban Development) department also helps you avail these home mortgage grants. There are HUD counselors appointed under the Stimulus Package. They guide you at every step without charging any fee. You must take help of these counselors as they can provide you complete information about these privileges.

    To know more about Home Mortgage Grants and to check if you qualify for Government Grants
    Click Here --> Federal Home Mortgage Grants

    Government Grants may not be enough, you also need add new income sources. Try the free trial for Google Cash & learn the secret for earning thousands of dollars per month online.
    Click Here --> Google Cash Free Trial

    FREE Trials are for a limited time only, so get yours today.

    Home Mortgage Grants - How to Get Free House Mortgage Grants?

    The U.S economy has been undergoing several ups and downs. The recession along with the other fluctuations have left the home owners stressed and tensed. The stimulus package 2009 announced by the president have somehow added some relief to the lives of these house owners. This plan provides affordability to the owners by providing several options to save their homes. The Federal government also offers various home mortgage grants.

    There are several kinds of Home Mortgage Grants available to the owners. These are as follows:

    * There are grants that help you get the down payment to buy your own homes. This money needs not be repaid. There are various grants that are offered to the first time home buyer. But for that you must be above 18 years of age, the house must be located in U.S. in addition to these, it must be your principle residence and you must have got it in inheritance or as some gift.

    * Apart from new home these home mortgage grants are also available for refinance and modification. You may apply for the free money that helps you pay your debts or any missed payments too.

    Eligibility for Home Mortgage Grants

    There are certain eligibility conditions set by the Federal Government in order to avail the house mortgage grants. These grants are given after the complete satisfaction that you really need the money. You must check them before applying for any of them. There are some private institutions and non profit foundations that help you get these privileges.

    HUD (U.S. Housing and Urban Development) department also helps you avail these home mortgage grants. There are HUD counselors appointed under the Stimulus Package. They guide you at every step without charging any fee. You must take help of these counselors as they can provide you complete information about these privileges.

    To know more about Home Mortgage Grants and to check if you qualify for Government Grants
    Click Here --> Federal Home Mortgage Grants

    Government Grants may not be enough, you also need add new income sources. Try the free trial for Google Cash & learn the secret for earning thousands of dollars per month online.
    Click Here --> Google Cash Free Trial

    FREE Trials are for a limited time only, so get yours today.

    Top 5 Mortgage Questions Among Home Buyers

    Here's what we did. We reviewed all of the questions emailed to the Home Buying Institute over the last six months. We made a list of the most common mortgage-related questions sent in by home buyers, and we answered them below. What's the result? A must-read article for first-time home buyers!

    So here they are, starting with the most common mortgage question we receive...

    1. What credit score do I need to get a mortgage?

    In the past, we did not get this question as much as we do today. Yet, it has quickly risen to #1 in terms of frequency. There are two reasons for this - economic recession and media coverage. The housing crisis of 2008 led to a full-scale economic recession in 2009. Long story short, it's harder to qualify for a mortgage loan in the current economy. Lenders today are more strict with their lending criteria, including credit scores. There has been plenty of media coverage about all of this, and that's why so many home buyers are asking this question. So let's answer it.

    First, you need to realize that the numbers I'm about to give you are only averages. Every lender has its own standards and criteria, and they vary a lot. Lenders will also review other criteria, in addition to your credit score (income, debt, affordability, etc.). In the current economy, you'll probably need a credit score of at least 670 to qualify for a mortgage loan. In order to get the best rates on a mortgage, you'll need a score of 750 or higher. Again, these numbers are not set in stone. They are merely averages taken from recent surveys.

    2. How much of a mortgage loan can I afford?

    The most important thing to understand is that you must answer this question for yourself. A mortgage lender cannot tell you how much you can afford to pay each month - they can only tell you what they're willing to lend you. It's possible to get approved for a mortgage that's too big for you. It happens all the time, and it often ends up with a foreclosure situation. So you need to set your home buying budget early on in the process, before you start talking to lenders.

    This is a relatively simple process. All you need to do is subtract your monthly expenses from your net monthly income (after taxes), and you'll have a rough idea of what you afford to pay toward a mortgage each month. When you add up your monthly expenses, include everything but your current rent payments - you won't have a rent when you buy a home. Be sure to account for entertainment / leisure expenses, retirement and savings contributions, and whatever debts you currently have. Subtract these expenses from your monthly income, and use that figure as a monthly limit for your mortgage. Do not exceed that maximum amount, even if a lender approves you for more. Stay within your budget!

    3. How do I apply for an FHA loan?

    Let's start with a quick definition. An FHA loan is any home loan that's insured by the Federal Housing Administration, which is part of the Department of Housing and Urban Development / HUD. The FHA does not actually make loans to consumers - rather, they insure the loans made by primary lenders.

    These loans offer certain benefits to first-time home buyers. Lenders receive guaranteed repayment from the federal government, even if the homeowner ends up defaulting on the loan. This government backing makes it easier for home buyers to qualify for FHA loans. You don't have to put as much money down (as little as 3.5%), and your credit score doesn't have to be perfect. That's the primary appeal of FHA home loans.

    To apply for an FHA loan, you would need to start on the FHA website. From there, you can find a list of FHA-approved lenders in your area, and you can apply for the program directly through those lenders. You can actually start this process through either the HUD or the FHA websites.

    After you submit an application with an FHA-approved lender, they will review your financial situation and tell you (A) if you're qualified for the program and (B) what kind of rate / terms you might get.

    4. How do I get pre-approved for a mortgage loan?

    It's wise to get pre-approved for a mortgage loan before you start house hunting. It helps you limit your search to the types of homes you can actually afford. Sellers will also take your offer more seriously if you have your financing lined up. Fortunately, it's a straightforward process. Just contact your chosen lender and tell them you want to get pre-approved for a mortgage. They will set up an appointment and tell you what to bring (W-2 statements, bank statements, pay stubs, etc.).

    Afterward, the lender will tell you how much they are willing to lend you, based on your financial situation. They'll also give you a pre-approval letter with the same information.

    5. Should I choose a fixed or adjustable-rate mortgage?

    A fixed-rate mortgage keeps the same interest rate over the entire life of the loan. On the contrary, an adjustable-rate mortgage (ARM) has an interest rate that will adjust or "reset" every few years. These days, most ARM loans start with a fixed rate for a certain period of time, typically three to five years, and will start adjusting after that. During the initial fixed-rate period, an ARM loan will usually have a lower rate than a regular fixed-rate mortgage. This is why some home buyers choose ARM loans in the first place - to get a lower rate, and thus a smaller mortgage payment each month.

    I generally recommend fixed-rate mortgages for people who are going to stay in a house for a long period of time, more than a few years. The only time I would even consider an adjustable / ARM loan would be a short-term residency, where I knew I would be selling the home within a few years. For example, I did my final military tour in Maryland, and I knew I'd be moving out of the state after two years. So I used an ARM loan to get a lower interest rate, and I sold the home long before the three-year point where it would start adjusting. This is the only type of situation where I recommend the ARM loan. For long-term residency, I recommend a fixed-rate mortgage for predictability.

    You should learn everything you can about fixed and adjustable mortgages, and choose the one that best suits your needs. Once you learn about the various pros and cons of each option, and obvious choice will begin to emerge.

    Brandon Cornett is the owner of Cornett Communications, an Internet publishing company focused on the real estate industry. Visit the author's blog at http://www.cornettcommunications.com/blog/ for more advice on this topic.